In the first episode of We’ll Do It Live!, Bill speaks to comedian, actor, and Adam Sandler movie regular Rob Schneider about the political state of America, his time on Saturday Night Live, the problem with late night and more.  It’s Bill O’Reilly like you haven’t seen him before.  

O'REILLY Hey, Bill O'Reilly here. We're doing something new, and it's not a podcast. See, I walk around the country, people, oh, I love your podcast. We do a broadcast, fact-based. Podcasts got guys who are inebriated, they're smoking pot, they're taking crack, and they're sitting around their garage. No, no, no. I'm not going to waste your time. But we're kicking it off, and we're kind of trying to develop it a little bit differently than the other 95,000 podcasts that you're subjected to. So I cast around, I said to my crew, look, I need an initial guest here. We have labeled this, We'll Do It Live, because of my ridiculously immature tantrum that I threw on Inside Edition when I was cursing and saying, we'll do it live. You remember that. If you don't remember it, just Google Bill O'Reilly Do It live, and it'll come up. Okay, that's when I was 12 years old. A little older now, but this is named We'll do It Live. And I wanted a guy who was uninhibited. He's just going to tell me the truth, no BS, he's not in it to deceive or... And the guy that I said, this will be interesting because you're not expecting this, is a comedian, but more of a social commentator, and his name is Rob Schneider. You've seen him on Saturday Night Live; you know him. He's been in hit movies with Adam Sandler. In fact, we just got off the phone with Sandler; somebody had to sober him up, but he did get on the phone. And but I want to Schneider because he's got a very interesting life that you may not know about. So here he is.

SCHNEIDER "Thank you, Bill."

O'REILLY I appreciate that.

SCHNEIDER "Honored to be here."

O'REILLY Where can I get a velvet suit like that? I don't think they sell them in New York. It's a West Coast thing, right?

SCHNEIDER "No, no, this is Urbana, this is a guy from Australia. He says, I got a nice suit for you. I'll send it to you. You're gonna love it!"

O'REILLY Very spiffy. A few months ago, I went to Madison Square Garden to see you and Sandler and a bunch of other comics. And I was struck by the rapport that you and him have. You guys go way, way back.

SCHNEIDER "Well, the thing about a performance, particularly whether it's live sketch or movies, it's, you know, comedies are, it really is sink or swim. And if it's going well or not going well, you've got to have somebody in the camp there who's going to do something to make it work. And I just remember I was talking to my friend, John Cleese, who's a wonderful, he's on the other side. The other, yeah, from Monty Python. He said, could you tell me about your friend, Adam Sandler? What's he doing? And I said, he's making movies now, they're not, he's doing more dramas. And I paused, and I said, because, and I was about to say, because he wants to work with interesting directors. And I said because, and Cleese cut me off, he said because it's easier. He said, the word you're looking for is easier. And it is, I mean, the dramas are, because people don't complain about a drama. How'd you like a drama? Well, it would seem pretty dramatic, whatever. But if you go see a comedy and you don't laugh, that is a disaster. That's when you really look bad. So comedies are definitely more of a risk. And so you want to be out there with somebody who, when you pass them the ball."

O'REILLY Yeah.

SCHNEIDER "You know he's gonna..."

O'REILLY But it's also a support group that you have. You got Spade, and Miller, and Carvey, all the SNL alums. And you guys still hang together. You still talk to each other all the time, right?

SCHNEIDER "To me, the guy who was the most talented when I grew up, as a young comedian, was seeing Dana Carvey. Dana Carvey, he wasn't even famous nationally, but in San Francisco, you could not get in to see him at a club. The room would explode with laughter. And you know, we were pretty good at the time. We'd go, we're good, but we can't do that. So he had guys like that. And then Dennis Miller came in, and he was a Pittsburgh comic. He was the guy from Pittsburgh, you've got to see this guy. And, um... He really was... He would take an idea and really find the logic in it. And a particular joke that was, to me, it was great. He said, you know, they got, hey, Cha Cha, they got this guy, Jack Ruby. How did he get in the parking garage? What kind of security do they have there? It's like, hey, sheriff, the guy owns a local titty bar. He wants to come in. Yeah, yeah, let him in. He's got a gun, let them in. So, I just, you know, that kind of idea, which..."

O'REILLY Well, all of you guys are not normal. I'm sorry, I don't want to offend you, but you're not normal!

SCHNEIDER "Yeah, I think, though, that you're right, there was a certain..."

O'REILLY There's that edge there, that floating around in your mind that just comes out in a way that engages people.

SCHNEIDER "Well, it's kind of... I think it's a problem with, I think it's the original attention deficit disorder, where you can't concentrate, so you focus on something really funny, but just for like a minute of it or 30 seconds of it or maybe even less. And you take that, and then you'd find a joke there. Like I remember my brother, because I grew up in San Francisco, right below San Francisco. When that used to be, before it was the, you know, the... I call San Francisco, it's either a homeless disaster or a gigantic camping success story. But before that, when it was still a beautiful city with 10,000 restaurants before COVID, my brother called me, and he said, Rob, you gotta come down, man, the waves, you know, you got to come, because we used to surf. You know, they're fantastic. And I said, I just woke up, I'm a comedian, I just literally."

O'REILLY It's 2 in the afternoon!

SCHNEIDER "And he said, no, dude, dude. Dude, you gotta do it. And I said, I can't. I just woke up, he said, dude. And I went like, and then he said. And he, dude? And I just said, did he just say the word dude with three different meanings intact? And so the joke that just came to me, you know, the word, dude is like the Polynesian word, aloha. It has more than just one meaning. You can use it to say hello to people. Dude! It's also used to mean listen or come here. Dude, dude, dude. But it's most important meaning is you blew it, Dude."

O'REILLY Right?

SCHNEIDER "And the punch line is, it could also mean are you in the closet with a knife, Dude?"

O'REILLY What was it like growing up in a family...

SCHNEIDER "I got nothing by that, you saw me, I got nothing on the punchline there. What'd you say? I'm sorry."

SCHNEIDER I'm almost Larry King-ing here, thinking about my own, my next question. What's it like growing up with a Jewish father, a mother's half Filipino. Right?  You're a United Nations down there in the suburb of San Francisco.

SCHNEIDER "Well, it was really great because we lived in a place that money didn't really matter. Everybody was... It was definitely the suburbs. This is the, we were the end of the baby boom, and it was a really great time in America. So, you know, and we were actually, you know, we had Filipinos, there were Jews, and the Filipinos are... They assimilate, and that's why the Filipinos are so successful. Most people don't know this, bu the highest earners in America, Filipino Americans. They average 93,000 per cap. And so that's, and you don't hear about it because they don't want you to know. Rob, don't tell anybody, please. Let the black and white people kill each other. We're gonna be okay in the suburbs. So, but they really do well because they assimilate, and when you get somebody from over the Philippines, they'll marry into the culture. They'll meet people, they'll become part of the culture, and they'll definitely know and learn the language, so that was what I really grew up with, and I also grew up as somebody who appreciated America like you wouldn't believe. I remember my mom, anyone who said anything against America, she had two words for them. Get out! You don't like America? It's the greatest country in history of the world. We have freedom and opportunity. You have no idea what it's like. Get out!"

O'REILLY Yeah, because she was in the Marcos era over in the Philippines. Came off the Japanese, then you go into the Marcos people, and it was rough.

SCHNEIDER "Well, you have people that are, I don't know if people understand how incredibly rare it is to not have a cased system, a cased system where you're born into a particular strata in the society, and you're not able to get out. The English have the best phrase that I know. The man does not know his place. So it's place. So you're there, and you're gonna stay there. And I remember my mom telling me, she said, even the maids in the Philippines have maids. Poverty, just it's an ever-descending level of poverty there, with no bottom. And in America, very uniquely, you can have a comedian like me who's Filipino, who's Jewish, and can work his way up and get to a place from your talent and from being successful. This society allows that opportunity. But it also allows that opportunity for people like from Somalia to come over here, go to maybe the most naive state, Minnesota. And completely take advantage of these people. And that is a potential problem of our society that I think is new, and we have to wake up to. Interesting, like the Jews side of the family had really good jokes. It was really cool because Uncle Norm, Norm Applebaum, who changed his name to Appel, you know, hiding, I guess, a little bit. But my dad never liked that, that he changed his name. But he never told them to his face. But so, you know, be proud that you're Jewish. So they would go around, and everyone would have to tell a joke, stand up, and tell a joke. And you knew that going in. So you also, you wanted to tell the joke, you'd have to have a joke and also get a laugh. And so that was big, and my dad was a big, laughing person, had comedy albums. And Jewish humor was really, Yiddish humor specifically, was really important."

O'REILLY And it's a tough crowd. You'd better have a good joke.

SCHNEIDER "You'd better have a good joke and then the Filipinos on that side, no jokes, just good food."

O'REILLY That's right.

SCHNEIDER "And nice people. Robert! They never talk about themselves, the Filipinos, Robert, tell me about...how was your day, Robert? What are you up to? So they were very sweet, so it was nice to have both."

O'REILLY When I saw you in the Madison Square Garden show with Sandler, you did a riff where you used an Asian voice, hysterical, and I'm going, he's going to get nailed for this. The political correct cadre are going to come after you. The crowd didn't. The crowd was into it. It was a different crowd, a younger crowd. But you were violating every tenet of political correctness by using this voice.

SCHNEIDER "The idea of it is to push the audience so that you can challenge them. Those are always the best comedians. George Carlin would come out and really attack the audience in a sense, but to do it from a place of calm and also from a place of logic and a place to show the absurdity. You know, like, you think you have rights, you don't have rights. You think you have rights. And I really enjoyed that. But the key to remember is always to get laughs. But if I'm not challenging the audience or pushing mores, you know, and challenging them, then I'm not doing my job. But the thing is, you could offend them, I swear. When I did some, I mean, probably the most offensive thing that Adam Sandler had me do was...

O'REILLY Forced you to do it.

SCHNEIDER "And he forced me to, I didn't wanna do it, I swear. No, it was in Chuck and Larry where I played an Asian minister. And it really was, the makeup was out of Breakfast at Tiffany's. I mean, if I, I wouldn't do it again today, honestly. The guy who did the makeup was a Japanese guy named Kazu, and Kazu was a great artist, and he worked with this guy named Rick Baker, who's the guy who's the most incredible Academy Award-winning artist for makeup. He's the guy who did, you know, the American Werewolf in London. So this Rick Baker is a genius. So this is the guy who, it was his best worker he ever had. This guy's an artist. So Kazu, the Japanese guy, he made the makeup, and I said, well, if he likes it, it should be fine. But I almost got censored by the Asian American community. But luckily, because I'm Asian enough."

O'REILLY You got in. You're in the club a little bit.

SCHNEIDER "But the idea is to make fun of everybody."

O'REILLY But my larger point is that it's harder today to do the edgy stuff because you've got all these people offended every two seconds about everything.

SCHNEIDER "I think so, but I think there's a really interesting thing that this comedian Judd Apatow uses, and other other left wing or liberals called punching down, which I really, I find that I'm offended by that because the preposition is that somehow there are people beneath you. I said, what? There are people beneath you? There's nobody beneath you; they may have less money than you, they may not live next to the beach like you do, but they're not beneath you. So, the idea somehow that these people need to be defended because they're so feeble, and they're so weak, that you, as the higher up in society, need to defend these people, I'm offended, that I find offensive."

O'REILLY Yeah, it's called patronizing them.

SCHNEIDER "Yeah."

O'REILLY But even Saturday Night Live, you remember in the beginning, Dan Aykroyd, Jane Curtin. Jane, you ignorant slut.

SCHNEIDER "Written by Jim Downey."

O'REILLY You could not say that now.

SCHNEIDER "Written by Jim Downey. Well, the thing about that was I don't think people... People weren't looking to be offended, then I think they were looking for laughs, and also it's late at night, it's 11:30, and maybe it's midnight by the time that got on, and you were just looking for something that was funny. And being offensive was... I mean, that's not the goal. The goal was to be funny, but how you be funny by potentially offending somebody, and I would just look at things like, you have to attempt to. I mean, just having this conversation, we are, as Jordan Peterson would say, if you're trying to have a point or be confident about a point, you're risking offense. But to not do that, I think, is to take our culture and diminish it."

O'REILLY Right. But it is diminished because the money boys don't want that anymore.

SCHNEIDER "They don't, like for instance, I probably, my latest comedy special probably would not get on Netflix now, the stuff that I'm doing. And that's okay, because the whole landscape is shifting dramatically. Whereas, you know, I haven't been on late-night TV because if you're a conservative, it's like, they are, they say we need equity and equality and diversity, but they don't want diversity of thought."

O'REILLY That's right.

SCHNEIDER "They want diversity of look."

O'REILLY And it's a shame.

SCHNEIDER "It is a shame, because it's diminishing. Because it, you know. You need to have your certainties questioned. Your foundational thinking needs to be challenged. So make it better and to be open. And the fact that they don't have me on the late-night TV is sad for them. But it also, it affects their ratings because I can do a tweet now, and I can have millions of people see that, or put out something on X or put it on Instagram, and millions of people will see that, and maybe 150,000 people watch the late-night." 

O'REILLY Well, I get the same thing. I used to be on, well, I was on Letterman a dozen times and Kimmel and everything, and now Trump changed it all. So if you give Trump a fair shake, you don't have to kiss his butt. If you even give him a fair shake, you don't loathe him, they don't want you, and they shut you down. They shut you out. And we did a documentation... The other thing I was curious about, growing up with you, and you were an adult when this happened, you converted to Catholicism.

SCHNEIDER "Yes."

O'REILLY From nothing? Or were you Unitarian, or what were you?

SCHNEIDER "Well, you know, Bill Maher's joke applies to me My father was Jewish. My mother was Catholic. So when I went to confession, I bring my attorney. This is Mr. Cohen. He'll be answering all the questions. I found it curious because I was interested in... Well, Judaism, of course, because I grew up with my father. And I think that's the basis of all Western civilization. And then Christianity, which sprung from Judaism and the very, very observant Jew, Jesus Christ. So, and I was also interested in the reformation of Buddhism, which was China. That's why China is, and hope they can come out of this, the communist hell hole that they're in now. And as a matter of fact, my friend Jan Jekielek has a book about kill to order, about the Uyghurs and the Falun Gong that are being taken. You know, their body parts, murdered on demand, killed on demand."

O'REILLY Sure.

SCHNEIDER "So, for me, I really had an awakening, really during COVID, when I saw society giving into a tyranny that very quickly, and you see a rise in evil, and this is something you can't ignore. And there's not, you'll never see a dark without light. You can't have day without night. You don't have front without back. And that's. Very much Alan Watts' philosophy of his Eastern mysticism."

O'REILLY But what was it about Catholicism itself that penetrated your consciousness and said this is going to lead to more justice? What was it that about that?

SCHNEIDER "Christ's sacrifice for all of us is that God would give his own son for the world."

O'REILLY Okay, so you bought into the Messiah coming, because I wrote a book, Killing Jesus, you know, about exactly what happened and why it happened. So then you started to think about this independently, or did you have somebody that was kind of guiding you into it?

SCHNEIDER "When you feel something that's happening around you and to the world that affects, and you have young children, and you want to protect them as best as you can, and you think that there is, we don't come from nothing. I mean, all of Western civilization is an offshoot. It comes, it springs from Christianity. I mean, everything has to do with it. And so even those, the atheists who believe that they don't believe in God. There's still laws. They just took, they said, the laws of nature, they just took the law giver away, but there's still the laws. What is your basis for society? What is your basis? What is your foundational belief system?"

O'REILLY Now, along with your conversion, you hightailed it out of California to Arizona.

SCHNEIDER "Yeah."

O'REILLY Was it the same reason you had had enough of the society out there?

SCHNEIDER "Well, I had, you know, if you have little kids, that's like I say in my stand-up act, California is dangerous, you know? 'Cause you got little kids. You know, in the morning you go to school, you drop off a girl in the afternoon, you pick up a boy, you know. So you want to, you want to... So I did want to get out. I felt like California was going to become a pincer trap depending on how deep this tyranny was going to go. And I knew that they were going to close businesses. I saw that happening, and I knew that it wasn't going to be two weeks, just 15 days. And I don't think people saw it, that it was going to become this draconian measures."

O'REILLY Now let's go back to your younger days. Saturday Night Live's a tough gig. I know Michaels. I actually did a skit for him. What up with that? And it was very successful. He wanted me to host a show, but Fox wouldn't let me because it was a...

SCHNEIDER "You would have been great on there."

O'REILLY See, I don't know about that, but they were very respectful, let's put it that way. I had no problem at all. I went over, I did the skit, it worked. But I know a lot of people, including Dennis Miller, who work with a lot on The Factor, and that's a rough gig that, you get into that Saturday Night Live thing, you're competing against each other for airtime, right?

SCHNEIDER "It is sink or swim, for sure."

O'REILLY And then you were a writer in the beginning, and then you elevated up, and you had the great character about the nicknames.

SCHNEIDER "Copy machine guy. Yeah, right. That was a... There were so many cast members as there is now. I think there was 17. I remember like, it seemed like, you know, they do the montage of all the cast, Al Franken, and the Venice Miller and Laura McDonald and Adam Sandler. That, I mean, that went on longer than the actual show at one point, I think, just the, just the cast reading. Yeah, it's sink or swim."

O'REILLY Everybody handles that kind of competition differently.

SCHNEIDER Yeah, it is, but it does, you know, I remember it does It does make it tense. I mean, you do realize, because you see what happens when somebody gets on, they get a movie, or they get something. And I remember when I got a character on, the copy machine guy, I just remember Dennis Miller saying, hey, he's saying to the other younger cast member, this guy's got on already, you guys better get to it. He's already hit it. You guys got, what do you guys got? And I'm like, they were burning. They were burning with it. And so it does hit, and what I liked about Saturday Night Live then, and when it can be its best, is it wasn't trying to be too broad or do something intellectually that they thought out too much. It's at its best trying to make their friends laugh, and themselves laugh. And so if we can make ourselves laugh, then you have the best chance. And I think that, you know, I think it's pretty obvious, though, that like any institution, it could get lost. And I think it got lost in this..."

O'REILLY Uh, the politically correct stuff.

SCHNEIDER "The liberal intelligentsia, it did. Well, because it took away the opportunity for laughs. Joe Biden and Kamala Harris was the greatest opportunity in the last 25 years for humor."

O'REILLY And I'm surprised Michaels didn't jump on that.

SCHNEIDER "And they did. Well, to his credit, he lets the cast and those guys come up with their stuff."

O'REILLY But he makes the final call.

SCHNEIDER "He does make the final call, but I do think he lets them lead. And that's, he's been there for half a century, so he does get that. But I think it was a miss. I think it was a lost opportunity. And I think they are funny guys there now, and hopefully it'll come back, but any institution is not immune to the cultural pressure."

O'REILLY But what was interesting is that you came out of there with some of your best friends. Sandler, I guess, is the ringleader, right? He's the guy that swirls, and then he's casting you guys in the movies. And they're all successful. People love them. But a lot of them didn't like each other. They were undermining and everything like that. But you guys managed to have that core.

SCHNEIDER "We always rooted for each other, I rooted for him."

O'REILLY And that was, that was different.

SCHNEIDER "It was different. You know, I remember like, one of the guys, this explains Adam Sandler probably better than anything else I know of. David Spade and I had falling out of sorts, and it was just a simple thing about like this because we didn't talk for a while, and it got rough there towards the end when I was there, and we didn't speak, but we used to be best friends. I mean, it was him and me, and Sandler. We were like best friends in LA, and then we got on Saturday Night Live, and then the pressure, you know, gets to you. And I remember Adam saying, you know, there's a movie that you're gonna do and then, you know, you're going to work with David. And he made a movie, literally wrote it. And he had some other guys that worked on the last couple of drafts of it, but it was his movie idea. And he literally made the movie so that David and I, David Spade and I, would have to work together, so we'd have to it out. And we've been friends, we've been tight ever since."

O'REILLY Right.

SCHNEIDER "That's Adam. I mean, who else would do that? Who else would do that? And I really feel like he is just continually... I'd describe him as that Willy Wonka gum that just never loses its flavor."

O'REILLY But he's a very creative guy.

SCHNEIDER "He loves and loves to keep challenging himself. I can't tell you the last time I've called him in the last 20 years, when he wasn't working on not just one script, three. He's finishing a movie editing that, and then literally the movie is in the can. He's finishing the editing of the actual film. He's editing the finishing of the next movie, and then he's working on a couple other things. He just he's a worker. The only time I see him take it easy is when he works on somebody else's picture. But the thing about.. that's when I know, I'm kind of, I feel good because then I know he could at least relax when he's not shooting because he's not thinking about it at night, like going over the next thing and then the writing of it. He's just, it's almost like when your heart only rests between beats. So when I, I know he's working on another movie, I can go, okay, he's actually almost taking a vacation."

O'REILLY He obviously loves what he does, and that's the key to a happy life. Two guys I got to know were Miller and Norm McDonald. So Norm liked me because of me, and there was some common ground because Norm didn't give a fig.

SCHNEIDER "Yeah, yeah."

O'REILLY He didn't care.

SCHNEIDER "He's a guy who invented fake news."

O'REILLY Right?

SCHNEIDER "And now the fake news!"

O'REILLY But they were all over him for O.J. Simpson and for all of this other stuff. And Norm just looked at him and go, okay, and then he'd do exactly what he wanted to do.

SCHNEIDER "I know Norm was a very special talent, and I miss him."

O'REILLY Yeah, so do I.

SCHNEIDER "I put him in everything that I could do, everything I ever did, and I'm very honored that I knew him and that he would make, that he could make fun of me publicly. I thought that that was such a..."

O'REILLY But he had this quality whereby you couldn't intimidate him.

SCHNEIDER "No, he was, no, and he really was comedy first, no matter what, even if it cost him. And like Jim Downey was the real, you know, the real genius of Saturday Night Live, they say, you know, respectfully, was the head writer of all those years. The guy who did Jane, You Ignorant Slut, the guy who wrote the jokes for Norm was Jim Downey. And this was on Weekend Update. And I think that that was a spectacularly, wonderful, volatile time. When you're watching that, you don't know what Norm is gonna do. It was really... A wonderful experience because it's one of those things where he could burn the house down. And he did. He did get fired."

O'REILLY There's one qualifier here. If you knew what Norm was told not to do, then you knew what he would do, which was exactly the opposite. Okay, so, and now I'll tell you a Miller story. So Miller, I didn't know very much, but I was looking for a little levity, but not stupid stuff. A little, an intelligent guy to come on once a week and put the news into some kind of perspective. With an entertainment value. So at the time, Dennis Miller was working at CNBC.

SCHNEIDER "Wow."

O'REILLY And he had an hour show with a monkey. With a monkey, no one knew why the monkey was there. But Miller would talk to the monkey, and the monkey would just run around, okay? Well, the show did not work, okay, and they-.

SCHNEIDER "Imagine that, that would kill now."

O'REILLY They killed the show. So I run into Miller in Manhattan, where we are now, and I didn't know him, and I said, you know, I like the monkey. And he lit up, because everybody hated the monkey except me, I like the monkey.

SCHNEIDER "Yeah."

O'REILLY And then I said, you know, would you mind if I maybe got your agent, and no, no, you know Miller. He just blew it off. So I went to the head of Fox News, a guy named Roger Ailes, and I said look, I wanna put Miller on on a weekly basis. It's going to be a workshop to give him a contract, but we'll give him three or four weeks to see. He goes, is that the guy with the monkey? I said, yeah, we don't have to hire the monkey. Okay, we're not going to hire a monkey. We'll have a few bananas, all right? So Miller will feel at home. So the rest is history.

SCHNEIDER "That's fantastic."

O'REILLY I brought him on, and then we toured.

SCHNEIDER "That's right. Those tours were great. You guys were ahead of your time."

O'REILLY It was amazing.

SCHNEIDER "You got to have, it was pre-podcast era."

O'REILLY Right.

SCHNEIDER "You guys got to actually, people would come out, and then you would actually get to, they would get to hear people that they listened to, and it was a wonderful reaction that preceded this whole era."

O'REILLY Well, we sold Caesar's Palace out five times. Now you can imagine, I'm a journalist, I'm not a stand-up guy, I am not an entertainer. But I have a sense of humor, and I'm an observer of life. And so I would say to Miller, I said, okay, this is what we're gonna do. Okay, tonight, we're going to have these questions, and then we'll just go wild with the questions. None of it was rehearsed, none of it. And it just worked great. And then I got on him for Bordello of Blood. Did you see Bordello of Blood?

SCHNEIDER "No."

O'REILLY Dennis Miller.

SCHNEIDER "Oh, no, no. That movie he did, yeah."

O'REILLY You gotta watch it.

SCHNEIDER "Oh, yes, yeah, yeah. That's his one movie. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah."

O'REILLY The Crypt Keeper. Oh yes. And he's got a flamethrower with the vampires.

SCHNEIDER "I forgot about that."

O'REILLY I would bring it up every show. I go, how you didn't get an Academy Award for Bordello of Blood? It was one of the greatest things. Citizen Kane, Casablanca, and Bordello of Blood!

SCHNEIDER "I remember Dennis, because you have to know what you're good at. You have to also know what you're not good at, and I remember him saying, I'm going to do this audition, and there's Eddie and Teddy. And I did Eddie, and I told the casting agent, Okay, I'm gonna do Teddy, and it's going to sound a lot like Eddie."

O'REILLY He was, to this day, a very, very witty guy.

SCHNEIDER "The stand-up is unbelievable. He's one of the great monologists ever, and also, as I was saying, he loves to laugh and really gets it. I just got to see him and his lovely wife, Ali, in Santa Barbara last month, and it was just nice to see them, and he's doing great. But just a great laugh and a generous laugh, and also a guy who appreciated comedy. He is the guy who singled Adam Sandler, David Spade, and me to, not only to Lorne Michaels but to David Letterman, so, because that was the big one for us getting on there. And then the HBO Young Comedians special. So Dennis Miller is an incredible gift and also a real generous person to lift other people just because he thinks they're funny. And I'm grateful to him. I mean, if it wasn't for Dennis, I don't know if we would have made it."

O'REILLY He didn't go back to the reunion in 35, and I kept pounding him. I said, come on, you're part of that SNL thing, no way.

SCHNEIDER "I get it, I mean, it was tough for me to go back, to be honest, the 50th. I don't know, I just, they're so liberal, and I knew that there are people gonna be there that really, really hate Trump, and I just didn't want to deal with it. I've been very vocal in my approval, because what do we have? And I talk about, now I've talking about this, you know, empathy that women have, white women voting for Kamala Harris. And I said this, you know, replacing Joe Biden with Kamala Harris is like changing your shirt because you shit your pants, you know, and, you know, a simple joke. But what it really is, it's like, they're saying we're going to defend democracy, you have to defend democracy by voting for Kamala, she wasn't even put in democratically. They were just replaced. So it's just the house of cards collapsed for the democratic party, and we saw it. And I just like, these guys, I know, they just, they don't wanna go to that place where they could make fun of their own. And you know, as Lorne Michaels has said publicly, the, you know, the liberals, they don't have as much of a sense of humor to laugh at themselves."

O'REILLY Right.

SCHNEIDER "So anyway, I was thinking, should I go? And I ended up going for the 50th, and I saw Robert De Niro there, and I know he hates Trump, and I've been very vocal that I support Trump. You know, I mean."

O'REILLY But De Niro didn't confront you, right?

SCHNEIDER "We did, we had a confrontation...Well, it was interesting. You know, I mean, I know him, not well, but I know him, and he helped put a movie in his Tribeca film festival many years ago called Vaxxed, which was the opening of this, the idea that this, hey, any drug is gonna potentially have a side effect. Any drug, no matter what it is, no, there's never been a drug that's 100% safe 100% of the time for 100% the people. He was kind enough and open-minded enough to put this movie Vaxxed in this Tribeca Film Festival. But it was such a radioactive topic that he pulled it out. But in the pulling out of the film festival, it became a cause célèbre and became a news event. And so I've been grateful to them. But I know that..."

O'REILLY Did he confront you about the Trump thing?

SCHNEIDER "Well, when I saw him at SNL, he was two rows in front of me. And I just said to myself, you know. I'm not going to, I don't want to ruin his night. You know, I know he hates Trump, violently, you know, virally, and then I don't want him to ruin my night. I'm just going to avoid. So at the end of the, at the end of night, they do this very nice thing where they, you know, they invite everybody onto the stage at the very end, you know, whoever, whoever cast member, whoever hosts the show, they invite us all onto the stage for one final bow. We're never going to be there. You know, people pass away, whatever. We're never going to be there probably ever again in this group. So we all get up, the problem is the show, Bill has been on the air for 50 years, so everybody in the audience was a cast member or was a host of the show. So we all get up, start moving our way to the stage, and then I'm right behind De Niro. I mean, literally, I don't know, like, nobody push him, you know, somebody's pushing. Finally, somebody pushed me right into him and you know, De Niro turns around, and he's like, how can you support Trump?"

O'REILLY He did, he said that right off the bat.

SCHNEIDER "He's just a schmuck, how could you? And I remember he was just about to kind of go, and I really grabbed him and said, hey, I love you."

O'REILLY That was good.

SCHNEIDER "I love you. I really, and I said, no, no no, he looked at me and said no, I really love you, and I do, and you know, I tell people we're not gonna win the cancel culture. They're better at it than us. We're gonna have to do it some other way, and it's gonna have to be through love and understanding."

O'REILLY Be respectful. I ran into Whoopi Goldberg the other night she was the one that walked off The View stage when I said, You know, might not be a good idea to build a mosque at the site of 9-11, and she and Behar walked off the show. It's a famous thing.

SCHNEIDER "Unbelievable."

O'REILLY Right, and over the years I've been respectful, but I saw her at the Knick game and I went up, and I said, you know, hey Whoopi, how you feeling? You know, she's lost a lot of weight. She's on one of those...whatever they are, I don't know, they suck the living bile out of you, and then you shrink and something like that. That's how you market that.

SCHNEIDER "No, they say we're going to take away all your muscle."

O'REILLY Right.

SCHNEIDER "No problem."

SCHNEIDER You're just going to be like, Gumby. Gumby.

SCHNEIDER "And you'll never get your muscle back."

O'REILLY Anyway, and I just said to her, I just looked at it, and I said, you know, you look good, nice to see you, everything okay? Is there anybody you want me to take care of? That's my old line for almost everybody.

SCHNEIDER "And she was nice. Was she nice?"

O'REILLY I like Whoopi Goldberg, not Behar.

SCHNEIDER "One-on-one, she was okay when you saw Whoopi?"

O'REILLY Yeah, oh, she was respectful.

SCHNEIDER "Yeah, I mean..."

O'REILLY I'm six four two hundred pounds. Okay, I don't... Although De Niro pulled something on me.

SCHNEIDER "He did?"

O'REILLY So I'm at the Kennedy Benefit, all right. The Kennedy family had a foundation, and I supported it because I'm a big fan of Robert Kennedy Senior. Gutsy guy.

SCHNEIDER "Oh yeah."

O'REILLY If you read Killing Kennedy, you see how gutsy he was.

SCHNEIDER "No, unbelievable. He's the guy who made a whole change from Joe McCarthy up until seeing poverty in America that he had never imagined."

O'REILLY So I'm sitting there and talking to Ethel Kennedy, talk about name-dropping, that's pretty good, right?

SCHNEIDER "Yeah, you're in."

O'REILLY And I see Ethel's eyes come off mine, look over my shoulder, so I know somebody's approaching. And I turn around, it's De Niro. So Ethel goes, oh, Bobby, do you know Bill O'Reilly? And he, I can't do the impression you do, but he goes...I unwind from my chair, all six foot four of me, get right up close to him, and go, problem? Vanished! She, Ethel Kennedy, laughed. She goes, I've never seen Bobby move that fast.

SCHNEIDER "Yeah."

O'REILLY But I don't understand. Okay, you don't like Trump. I understand it. I've known him for 35 years, Okay? But so what?

SCHNEIDER "So what? I know."

O'REILLY Right. This is America.

SCHNEIDER "This is America. And I've got to tell you, this administration he put together is the best administration of my lifetime."

O'REILLY And you are entitled to that opinion without being derided.

SCHNEIDER "Without being derided and also without being deprived of work. The idea I..."

O'REILLY Oh, I hate that. It's so bad.

SCHNEIDER "Yeah, it's awful, I mean, like, look, I realize that, that they... It's so funny because you know people you know, they accused people who are conservative, like your right-wing grifting. Grifting is the left, if you just shut up, and if you do go along with this insanity, and this liberal and yes men, you know, can be women if they say they are, if they put up enough makeup on, and if they, you know, they tuck, whatever. It's like no, at a certain point you have to, there's either reality, there is logic, and you have a culture that you care for, either defend women, and the idea of this misogynistic crap that this culture has been going through, if you don't speak up against that, then I think you, you know you're not a man, and we have people and I'm not going to not stand up for women. I'm not gonna not stand up for my culture, and this amazing country that has provided the most remarkable opportunity for anybody who comes here and works their ass off. But you gotta come in with good intentions. And that's the problem. You have to come in with good intentions."

O'REILLY And that comes from your mom.

SCHNEIDER "That comes from my mom, absolutely."

O'REILLY So your mom drilled that into you.

SCHNEIDER "Yes."

O'REILLY And you still have it, and that's admirable.

SCHNEIDER "Well, this is a culture worth fighting for. I mean, I remember, you know, if you really think about this, like the murder of Charlie Kirk, who I knew, and we went to university together, he was such an incredibly brilliant person who put his microphone down and said, if you disagree with me, you come to the front of the line. And one of the last few times we talked together, you know, one of the things we said was, there will be no Marines landing on our beaches to save our ass. There will be no financial institution or some other country to financially bank, you know, to give us a loan like the Marshall Plan, like we did for Germany, Japan, and Europe. And we're it, we are the Marines. We are the financial Marshall Plan. So this is it, this is our last line. And it's not just the last line for this country, but for Western civilization."

O'REILLY For the world. Well, you see it now.

SCHNEIDER "We see it now. You see a real attack on Western civilization. You see the struggle that's happening in Texas right now. You really see the attack because the difference is when our founding fathers says enemies foreign and domestic because they knew that... They saw at that point, that there was a potential to come in and use the freedoms that are given here to use them to usurp the constitutional rights of others. And that's something we have to be really careful about, and that's what this Sharia, you know, this... Anti-Sharia laws need to be enacted in every, in every state."

O'REILLY It's ironic the ACLU was set up to protect those rights.

SCHNEIDER "The ACLU..."

O'REILLY And now it's starting, not starting, but it's in the middle of denying those rights.

SCHNEIDER "I want to find out who's funding the ACLU right now because they're not the same organization that fought for the rights of..."

O'REILLY Look at Singham over in China.

SCHNEIDER "I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you have soft money coming over here, Bill. Whether it's coming from Qatar into the universities. A trillion dollars. You have, and it's affecting these universities and their programs which are this overly flirtatious combination of for communism and for Islamism, and the problem is that combination is very deadly. And that was one of the last things Charlie Kirk spoke about two days before he died, was that combination of that red-green alliance, which is this communist under the, you know, the new name woke, which is just communism dressed up as manners, as Thomas Sowell talks about the fallacy of social justice. It's a fallacy, but teaming up with Islam, that's the real threat to America right now. That is the biggest threat to this country. And thankfully, we have an administration that is onto it. When I went there, when I was in DC two months ago, that's all we talked about."

O'REILLY Why do you think that the Trump administration is so vilified by the Kimmels, the Colberts, the network news? Why do they hate him so much?

SCHNEIDER "I think it's liberal women that have lost their minds are controlling these men, and these guys have no more balls."

O'REILLY Oh, I thought you said they changed.

SCHNEIDER "Kimmel has no balls. Kimmel is ball-less. He's been de-balled by his wife. His wife is the head writer of the show. She used to be an assistant writer. Now she's the writer. And I think that's completely ruined him. I do. I mean, I'm sorry, Jimmy, maybe I'm wrong, but I think I'm right."

O'REILLY Hey, we've got more with Rob Schneider. If you are a Premium or  Concierge Member on BillOReilly.com, all you need to do is go to the website, BillOReilly.com, and punch up Killing Time, Killing Time. It's supposed to be clever off the Killing books, Killing Time, and then that's just for you, exclusively, so we hope you do that.